Dear "Friend,"
This time there is no anger, just sadness. I don’t have anything funny to say about the situation to try and make light of it and hope things will just pass by like fog in the morning. I have no more energy to put into a friendship where I give and give and give and receive nothing in return.
I tried so hard to pretend it wasn’t really what it was and my heart is still clinging so tightly to the thought of the good times that I don’t know if I can make it through the day. But I will like I have always done, alone. I let myself depend on you and that was my error, I know better than to depend on anyone for anything. I will walk away broken, but you’ll never see me cry.
You have absolutely no respect for me, my feelings or anything I want or need. Yes, when you’re drunk you tell everyone how much you love me and will protect me and blah, blah, blah. I believe you when you say that, I really do, the problem is that you treat me worse than anyone else. The question is who is going to protect me from you?
I get upset when you make fun of me or are just disrespectful and you just can’t figure out why. Then when I finally get the nerve to tell you, you just laugh at me. That’s awesome; I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that. It’s amazing to me that the person I do everything for and who has somehow become what I put first in my life (even before myself) treats me like this. I have never been your employee, but for some reason that's how I am treated. I don't do things for you because I have to, I do them because that's what friends do for each other. I am not obligated to do anything.
So, I will walk away now, but I won’t be running away from you or this place; I will be running toward a better life for me. I’ll keep hoping that there’s more out there. I wish no pain or ill will, I just need you to stop hurting me. I feel empty inside and maybe that’s the worst feeling of all.
So in the words of The Unseen... bridges burned, that lesson's learned, I guess there's nothin left to say...
Labels: Friends and Family
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You're making a big step by realizing this. I was in a similar situation once, and it took me years to figure out that I should have seen the warning signs so much sooner. GOOD FOR YOU! You're taking big steps in the right direction!
It takes a strong person to walk away, but the act itself will make you even stronger. Do what's best FOR YOU.
Good for you. It's hard to break away from an unhealthy friend or family member, but it's worth it.
You will be a stronger person in the end.