A look behind my eyes

I’m not sure how it is around the world, but growing up in U.S. comes with its own set of baggage. Image seems to be everything. It doesn’t matter who you really are as long as you look, act and play the part that is expected of you.

We are taught that to be beautiful you have to look like size 0 anorexic girls on the magazine covers (and even they are airbrushed to look thinner!). You are supposed to dye your hair a sun kissed color of blonde and dress to go to the local clubs like you’re going to a Hollywood premier.

As a true American girl, I’ve worried about my weight most of my life. I’ve dyed my hair blonde, dressed to the nines just to go to the same bar I go to every week with the same people. I’ve smiled and acted interested when the person who was talking to me was a total idiot, but everyone said he was the coolest guy around. I’ve done it… and I’m over it.

Now before I start getting hate mail, there is nothing wrong with this lifestyle if it makes you happy. It just doesn’t work for me anymore.

I’m not a size 0 and I’m finally starting to be ok with that. My hair is now a brilliant shade of red and I absolutely love it. I wear what I want when I want and that includes an old pair of jeans and a crappy t-shirt to the club on a Saturday night if I feel like it. While I value the opinion of others even if I don’t agree with them, my opinion is the only one that really matters to me.

I think I’m finally finding my way in the world, on my own terms, and that means everything. I’m happier, stronger and feel better about myself than I ever did living the “American girl dream”. So if that life makes you happy then live it and love it. But if it doesn’t, don’t waste time trying to fit the mold… stand up and break it… you’ll be much happier in the end.